Tue 01 . 09 . 07
I Got All Emotional Today
Today as I ran up the stairs from the kitchen I smelled candles. My dad usually lights one when he prays so I asked him if he lit one. He didn't, and he told me that if you smell a newly lit candle burning and there is none then there's a ghost nearby.
"Hi Lolo and Lola, " he said to the air. "We're okay. Thanks for visiting me and Glenn. I have a new prayer book and I've been saying a prayer for the dead."
I said, "Maybe Grandpa is here too."
My dad grinned at that and said, "Hi dad." (It was so odd to hear my dad refer to someone else as 'dad.' I never knew my paternal grandfather.) "Thanks for visiting. I think about you every day even though I can't remember your face anymore. Maybe you will show yourself to me so I will remember. Hey what's that?!" That last part he said excitedly while pointing over my shoulder behind me. Typical practical joker, my dad.
That phrase "I can't remember your face" has been stuck in my mind all day. It's heartbreaking to think about how my father had so little time to get to know his own father. To forget your own father's face is just so mind-numbingly sad to me. And it's sad knowing that my dad's father never met any of his grandkids because the oldest of us, Kuya Chucky, was half a world away when he died.
Imagine how lucky I am to have this time with my own dad now. After the heart attacks, and the recent stroke. God has given me so many second chances to make up for lost time, and He's given me a schedule right now where I can take advantage of the second chances.
What have I learned about my father? Dad, despite all the vices and short-comings I thought he had, is a good man. And a versatile one. My father would have been just as comfortable -- just as 'in his element' -- on the campus of an Ivy League school talking philosophy as he was in a boardroom meeting, or running track & field.
What have I learned about myself? I think I am finally admitting out loud, even though this has been the case since I was a small child fresh off the plane from the Philippines:
I hope I can be like my dad one day.
Tue 10 . 31 . 06
Fri 10 . 27 . 06
Top 10 Reasons Why I Should Not Jog At Night
10. I can't sleep because of the "runner's high." (or that could just be a regular high...)
9. It's winter and I just froze my kneecaps off.
8. Discarded Taco Bell wrappers on the street make me hungry.
7. People up the block don't curb their dogs after sundown.
6. Neither do people down the block.
5. Staten Island teenage drivers don't mind using my elbows to knock their side-view mirrors off.
4. I'm losing precious e-mail sending & friendster browsing time.
3. It's hard to light a cigarette while running 6 mph.
2. Spandex plus street lights make my butt look fat.
And the number one reason I should not jog at night...
1. I'm waking up the neighbors singing "Eye of The Tiger" at the top of my lungs.
Thu 10 . 19 . 06
Tue 10 . 17 . 06
My Love Letter To Beth, Written By God
Book of Wisdom 7:7-11
Therefore I prayed, and prudence was given me; I pleaded and the spirit of Wisdom came to me.
I preferred her to scepter and throne, And deemed riches nothing in comparison with her,
Nor did I liken any priceless gem to her; Because all gold, in view of her, is a little sand, and before her, silver is to be accounted mire.
Beyond health and comeliness I loved her, And I chose to have her rather than the light, because the splendor of her never yields to sleep.
Yet all good things together came to me in her company, and countless riches at her hands.
Beth is my prudence and she brings me wisdom.