Don't Fake The Funk

G's Tips For Working Out At NYSC

• That Saturday morning belly-dancing class does not allow spectators.
• Never wear tightie-whities while doing split squats.
• In fact, never wear tightie-whities while doing any leg exercise.
• If a guy spots you during a set even if you don't ask for one, he's most likely hitting on you.
• If said guy asks for your number, he's definitely hitting on you.
• Always wear slippers in the shower.
• Don't get on a treadmill facing one that a girl with big boobs is running on, unless you like falling off the treadmill from the distraction.
• If, in fact, you do fall off the treadmill, don't bother to act like nothing happened. The trainers will be playing that particular security-cam tape over and over at their Christmas party every year for eternity.
• Hold yourself back from singing along to the music from your headphones.
• Yes, she's wearing a thong. Stop looking.
• Nobody in the gym is looking at you; they're all too busy looking at themselves in the mirror.
• Except me. I watch everyone.