I talk about my hair on this weblog way too often for a guy. Then again, should guys really have weblogs? But anyway, I digress. It's not really about the hair. It's more about the funny stuff I notice when humans interact with each other because of hair.
For example, I like my hair short. Really short. Completely gone, even. My girlfriend, however, likes my hair longer. (Incidentally, so does my mom but that really has nothing to do with anything. And for you wiseass Oedipal deviants, my girlfriend is not my mother. Sick bastards. Again, I digress.) These two wildly different views on the length of my hair (let me review: I like me bald; Beth likes my hair to exist), while not a cause for arguments with my love, do tend to create some issues.
Like with hair gel. I hate using hair gel, or any other styling product for that matter. I just don't like the feel of it, and I hate the way the shit reactivates when I sweat. And it's one more damn thing I gotta carry in my backpack when I go to the gym.
Man, and at barber shops and salons. Those places just get to me. Barbers and hairdressers are the only people I know that get paid more money the less work they do. At this time last year, I was bald. It's cheap to be bald, I can shave my own damn head for free. In the Philippines, I paid a dude $2 to give me a crewcut. Today I went to the barber (okay, it was a salon in Brooklyn Chinatown. Shut up, Ace.) and the dude barely trimmed the hair around my ears and I paid homeboy $15, not including his tip and the tip for the illegal Chinese alien that washed my hair.
Speaking of washing hair, the hair-washer lady washed my hair about six times. I know one of the times was for shampoo, and another was for conditioner. But what were the other four things she used? Did she see dandruff and decide to apply medicated dandruff shampoo, too? Do I have lice? What the heck? A shampoo lady on the run from INS is making me feel self-conscious about my personal hygeine. AND I PAID HER MONEY FOR IT.
When it comes down to it, I think life's a lot more convenient when you shave your head. Life is simpler, less complicated, more spiritual. Check it... the Pope was bald, the Dalai Lama ain't got no hair, Shao Lin monks neither. They know something. Two words: "Yul" and "Brenner." Coolest bald guy ever.
But despite all I just said, Beth is right: I look better with hair.
i must point out though that i don't think the pope was bald by choice...he had hair on his head when he was elected pope..then gradually lost it over time. but as for going to a chinese barber...why not just go to Astor Place Hair on Astor Pl. and Broadway? It's a unisex joint, but mostly dudes are in there and it's relatively cheap for people that actually do their job and cut your hair the way you want it. I like getting my haircut there because the lady that did my hair last time knows what she's doing and I'm a broke ass grad student.
Posted by: Vette at April 9, 2005 04:41 PMDon't forget when they massage you after they wash your hair. NOT a good idea if you are ticklish.
Posted by: Kuyadelphia at April 11, 2005 09:02 AM