Don't Fake The Funk

I'm A League Pass Junkie

It really sucks not being able to see my girlfriend during the week because of her crazy physical therapist schedule. But boy, thank goodness the NBA season has started. I am now officially addicted to NBA League Pass. I have watched every single NBA game played in the 2005-06 season. It's crazy! It's eating up my time! It's utterly the most wonderful thing to happen to me and a television set since I got The Princess Bride on DVD.

So here are some of thoughts on the NBA, as told by me, a self-proclaimed NBA League Pass Junkie:

• Not including LeBron & Amare, players that skipped college or only stayed one year take really really dumb shots way too early in the shot-clock.
• Peja is sleep-walking. Somebody wake his Euro ass up. He's on my damn fantasy team.
• Andrew Bogut is the real-deal. I'm not surprised that his ancestry is Croatian.
• It's totally unfair that Mehmet Okur's wife is hot.
• Freakin' Jason Richardson. Incredible freakin' scorer.
• Of course Baron Davis got hurt.
• I have a feeling Half-Alien is right and I am wrong. This will not be Joe Johnson's break-out season.
• I bet Larry Brown and Phil Jackson are both thinking, "Oh shit. What the heck did I get myself into?"
• Ron Artest is the man. Why are people booing him? What would you do if someone threw a beer at you?
• Ron Artest is also crazy, but he's a damn good player.
• Okay so Dallas beat the Suns in 2OT but I still think Mark Cuban is a dumbass for trading Steve Nash.
• I'm not really sure how this whole RJ & VC15 thing is gonna work.
• The Knicks are "relevant" again, sure. But they still play a damn ugly game.
• And Jamal Crawford's days are numbered.
• LeBron & Larry Hughes. That's like Batman & Batman.
• Delonte West looks like a leprauchan.
• I guess Mike Bibby's still wearing that Mini-Me costume from last Halloween.
• Okay, AI has 26 injuries and he has a lot of heart. But the dude still don't play a team game.
• Neither does Kobe.
• And I'm still a little iffy about Darius Miles and Lamar Odom.
• Yao's gotta grow a full beard. That under-the-chin thing looks like... well, an armpit.
• You know why I like Steve Nash? Because he doesn't talk ebonics when interviewed like other white NBA players.
• Keith Van Horn is actually doing pretty well. Does he know the pre-season is over?
• Toronto = Clippers North
• White Chocolate has zero basketball IQ. How you gonna dribble into a zone and bounce-pass to Shaq while he's on the high post? Shaq ain't mobile enough to drive the lane and you know he ain't shooting no jumpers from there.
• I hope The Glove's in shape because he's gonna be starting in Miami soon.
• Matt Barnes has nice hair. I'm glad he's getting some light.
• Shawn Marion must have been genetically engineered by aliens to play basketball. It's like he's got springs in his legs instead of calf muscles.
• The Spurs are an incredible team but they're really boring to watch.
• Indiana and Detroit are probably just as good but they're fun to watch.
• How come it seems like Brad Miller really hates Yao Ming?
• Looks like Duane Wade's got a bit more of a swagger this season. Looks like GP is teaching him some things.
• The East is now the strongest conference.
• It doesn't look like Kobe's teammates enjoy standing around watching him set himself up to jack up a jumper. Yeah, #8 makes big shots, but his teammates are so wide open.
• I still like 'Zo more than Shaq but I won't say that to his face.
• I think when they said that Eddy Curry's got some heart issues, they meant it metaphorically.
• There is something inherently wrong with Sam Cassell in a Clippers uniform.
• There is also something inherently wrong with Eddy Curry wearing Charles Oakley's jersey number.
• Those orange Phoenix uniforms make them look like Home Depot employees
• After listening to the color commentators for teams in smaller NBA markets, my appreciation of the Knicks' Walt Frazier has increased by leaps and bounds.
• I was looking at the TV schedule and it says they're going to be showing a Clippers game in high definition. Why?

Posted by glenn at November 4, 2005 02:37 AM