Don't Fake The Funk

I Got All Emotional Today

Today as I ran up the stairs from the kitchen I smelled candles. My dad usually lights one when he prays so I asked him if he lit one. He didn't, and he told me that if you smell a newly lit candle burning and there is none then there's a ghost nearby.

"Hi Lolo and Lola, " he said to the air. "We're okay. Thanks for visiting me and Glenn. I have a new prayer book and I've been saying a prayer for the dead."

I said, "Maybe Grandpa is here too."

My dad grinned at that and said, "Hi dad." (It was so odd to hear my dad refer to someone else as 'dad.' I never knew my paternal grandfather.) "Thanks for visiting. I think about you every day even though I can't remember your face anymore. Maybe you will show yourself to me so I will remember. Hey what's that?!" That last part he said excitedly while pointing over my shoulder behind me. Typical practical joker, my dad.

That phrase "I can't remember your face" has been stuck in my mind all day. It's heartbreaking to think about how my father had so little time to get to know his own father. To forget your own father's face is just so mind-numbingly sad to me. And it's sad knowing that my dad's father never met any of his grandkids because the oldest of us, Kuya Chucky, was half a world away when he died.

Imagine how lucky I am to have this time with my own dad now. After the heart attacks, and the recent stroke. God has given me so many second chances to make up for lost time, and He's given me a schedule right now where I can take advantage of the second chances.

What have I learned about my father? Dad, despite all the vices and short-comings I thought he had, is a good man. And a versatile one. My father would have been just as comfortable -- just as 'in his element' -- on the campus of an Ivy League school talking philosophy as he was in a boardroom meeting, or running track & field.

What have I learned about myself? I think I am finally admitting out loud, even though this has been the case since I was a small child fresh off the plane from the Philippines:

I hope I can be like my dad one day.

Posted by glenn at January 9, 2007 12:25 PM