Don't Fake The Funk

Not Only Did We Lose The Quads...

... but the league forgot to bring the trophies to the game so I didn't get my damn trophy today! Why do I need the trophy anyway? Nobody ever sees it but me. Nobody even cares but me.

I may have a slight case of trophyphilia.

--

More on losing... the team we played against were playing a 3-2 zone on us because they had really tall big men so they didn't have to worry about us driving the lane all that much. Now I don't expect my team to read defenses automatically. Most people can't unless they played serious organized ball. So I made it a point to let them know, and to tell them how to better attack it: Keep two guys up to flank the middle guy in the 3-2 (he was playing up, which also left the foul line area wide open). Everyone nodded like they understood, but we kept bring the ball right up the damn middle. It was frustrating to say the least. And even though the foul line was wide open, nobody cut to that spot more than twice in the game.

We could have beaten this damn team. We could have run them out the building, but they limited that with their superior rebounding. I can live with that. One of there dudes was 6'8" for chrissakes. But still, we shouldn't have let them get their defenses set. We were successful when we were attacking, but if we let them get back into their 3-2 we got stuck.

That being said, even with those flaws, if our outside shots were falling we would have won. Unfortunately none of us got into any kind of rhythm. Argh! I hate losing!

--

A photo taken on Staten Island today.

"So tell me what it's like?"
"What?"
"The fighting. Annadale."
"First of all it's just 'the dale.' Nobody calls it Annadale here. Second of all I wouldn't know about the fighting so don't ask."
"Why not?"
"I told you not to ask."

Urban League Champs... AGAIN!!!

I See The Future

Travis Turns Two

Happy Birthday, Travis!

Holy Oldness, Batman!

We made it to the championship game again. And suddenly I'm feeling my age. I hurt my lower back. It doesn't hurt too much but it gets tight really quickly. I was gonna write a play-by-play description of the game, in particular the part how Ace and I were the ones that carried the team to victory, but I'm not in the mood because my back is making me irritable.

This sucks.

Time To Go To The Mall, Ray

Ray: Dude I wore the same outfit tonight as I did at Teena's birthday party.
Glenn: You did? I thought you wore a blue shirt.
Ray: It was purple. My memory is photographic.
Glenn: My photographs are my memories.
Ray: Word.
Glenn: *checks photographs* Oh shit.
Ray: Wha--?
Glenn: I wore the same outfit tonight as I did at Teena's birthday party, too!
Ray: Think they noticed?
Glenn: Sunshine day-ah eh-time fi dah bus ride-ah.

First Place!

7-1 in a tough division. Now for the playoffs! W0000t!!!

--

In other basketball news... I figured out why Turkey, Serbia-Montenegro, and Germany didn't play zone against the US team. They're purposely not letting the US team get ready for Athens by keeping them unused to playing against a zone. There is a world-wide conspiracy to make the United States men's Olympic basketball team lose badly in the Olympics.

Okay yes I'm being paranoid.

The US team is an underdog. A multi-millionaire, can't shoot jumpers, selfish no-passing, spoiled hoodlum underdog -- but still an underdog!

Go US!

Conversation About Jeff Garcia

Hot Ape: Did you hear Terrell Owens called Jeff Garcia gay in that Playboy interview?
J. Chimp0: Yeah.
Hot Ape: I'm like... no duh!
J. Chimp0: Hey, he did play in San Francisco.
Hot Ape: Tackle me! Tackle me!
J. Chimp0: That's why he always threw to the tight end.
Hot Ape: Now you know why Garcia wants Winslow in camp: he's sooooo cute!
J. Chimp0: He was like "Come over to my house and we can study your playbook."
J. Chimp0: "... bring your pads."
Hot Ape: "Mmhmm, I recognize this play."

Yes, yes. I know this is pretty homophobic-sounding. And if this offends any gay men out there, I apologize. I ought to apologize to Jeff Garcia, too. Sorry, Jeff. But hey, you gotta admit ... this was pretty funny.

For the record, Jeff Garcia is a great quarterback so his sexual preference shouldn't matter, and it doesn't to me (no, really). Terrell Owens is a loud-mouth punk that represents a lot of what's wrong in sports. The Giants should start Kurt Warner. And finally, someone buy me a Barry Sanders th'oback jersey.

Smells Like A Rat, T.O.

For the record, I agree with you, man. I been thinking Jeff Garcia was gay from the get go. But Terrell, my man, shut the fuck up already. What difference does it make, you damn fool?

Agassi vs. Stifler

You know, if there is any other way to honor someone you admire, like Andy Roddick does Andre Agassi, it's to get up and play against him hard. I'm upset that I missed this match, but I'm glad to hear that it was an epic battle. I'm even gladder (more glad?) that Andre won, and that the last two sets were won on tie-breakers, the first by Roddick, and the last and best by Agassi.

Andre's not exactly passing the torch to Roddick just yet. He's an old stodgy veteran that isn't quite ready to hang them up yet. You gotta admire that. On the other side of the token, though, Roddick has been almost reluctant to take the title of the Best US Tennis Player. Head-to-head Andre leads Andy 5-1. This match was different, though. It really looked like Roddick was trying to take it, and Andre was trying to keep it. There is no better way for Andy to show respect than to give it his all against Agassi. He sure did that, and Andre gave his all right back.

Ah but in the end, Stifler was stiffed. Andre won this one for all the shaven-headed, weekend warriors in their early thirties... ahem, like me.

Alien Vs. Predator

What do you get when you put Ridley Scott's Alien, add an actress who I've got a serious crush on (Sanaa Lathan), add a gun-weilding, Scottish-accented, scar-faced actor who served with me at Vindabona (can you figure this one out?), and add a seven foot, dread-locked cat that put a hurt on Apollo Creed, Senator Ventura, and the Terminator?

Oh man... you got me going crazy. Alien vs. Predator, man.

I. Can't. Wait. AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee!

I Hate Losing

$@#@%@#$!!!!!

How Jedi Am I?

Hey, you kids under the age of 21 that never saw Hope, Empire, and Return? I apologize for the spoiler.

:: how jedi are you? ::

Great... just great. I'm a little whiny kid that drives a tricked out go-kart that grows up to be a whiny teenager that can't act and commits genocide... but I end up having twins with that girl from The Professional, and I become the baddest ass evil-doer in the galaxy.

Okay, maybe that ain't so bad.