Don't Fake The Funk

Balikbayan Box Mix-Up

Superman & Robin. I guess it doesn't matter who Kuya is, because I'm a mere sidekick no matter what.

Kuya: I think that Superman costume was too big for me.
Glenn: It probably still is.

Leaving On A Jet Plane

Cristina: So you migrated to the U.S. when you were like, 3?
Glenn: Yep.
Cristina: There weren't any color photos then?

Glenn: From left to right: that's my kuya, my lolo, me, and the stewardess.
Cristina: Ahhh... so they needed a stewardess to make you come, huh?
Glenn: Really, have I changed much?

Coach Carter

I saw the movie Coach Carter. It wasn't a bad movie, although I think that whoever directed/wrote this flick over-cartoonized ghetto stereotypes. As far as basketball movies is concerned it was no Hoosiers, but it was fairly heart-warming. True story even. Or at least, based on one.

Speaking of cartoonized ghetto stereotypes: One word: Ashanti. That repeating neck-move thing would kill more people than the gatling gun killed warriors in The Last Samurai. (Off-topic, how is it that the only person not killed by the gatling gunfire in that last charge was THE ONLY WHITE MAN IN THE WHOLE DAMN SAMURAI ARMY?!! But anyway, I digress...)

The "high school dance" had ringers. I've been to a high school dance or two, a couple of them long after my own high school career (but that's another story...). Ain't nobody in high school a professional dancer, unless you were on Fame or something.

Slight spoiler -- although if you haven't seen the movie already you won't, unless you buy a bootleg or something. When coach Carter first starts coaching, the two top scorers on the team quit. I wonder what happened to them. They should do a movie about those two guys. I bet they made the And 1 team.

S(no)wboarding

How ironic is it that the one thing keeping me from snowboarding today ... is too much snow. Blah! I think I actually will try snowboarding down my driveway a little later.

Isn't it interesting that my people come from a tropical climate, and yet, I love the cold weather. I love the snow and everything about it. I even like shovelling snow. I like hydroplaning on ice while driving too.

And yes, I consider using a snow-blower cheating.

Names

Sean: Do you know what the name "Claude" means?
Glenn: What?
Sean: It's like the worst name you can get.
Glenn: Really?
Sean: It means "LAME."
Glenn: That's funny.
Sean: That sucks!
Glenn: "Jean Lame Van Damme."
Sean: Fitting, no?
Glenn: Certainly.

Horoscopes

Beth: Want to hear your horoscope?
Glenn: Okay.
Beth: Rat...
Glenn: ... !!
Beth: "This year, there is a good chance for a raise and a promotion..."
Glenn: Considering I don't have a job right now, getting one will count as a raise and a promotion.
Beth: Hah.

I Still Got It

So there I was at the gym today shooting some baskets. After a layup I stopped underneath the hoop and said to myself, "Self, that hoop doesn't look too high this morning. It's still ten feet up, but let's see if I can still grab the rim." I put the ball down and walked up to the foul line, and with a running start I jumped up to grab the rim.

Maaaan, not only did I grab it but I bruised my forearm a little. Yeah! My forearm. I jumped pretty darn high. So then I said to myself, "Self, do you think you can still dunk?" I picked up the ball and walked up to the three-point line. Then I decide to walk farther because I need more of a running start. I run, dribble twice, and jump... not even close.

So maybe I don't still have "it." But at least I can still grab the rim whenever I want. That ain't so bad.

Is That True, Bub? *SNIKT*

I am a firm believer that honesty must be emphasized in all things, even at the risk of hurting someone's feelings. As long it is mixed with equal parts compassion, and is without malice, honesty is really the only way to go.

That being said, everyone lies, and there are as many reasons for lying as there are people in the world. Some people lie to make themselves look good, some lie to make others look bad, some people lie to hide something. And nearly everyone justifies lying with wanting to spare the feelings of others. That really pisses me off.

It has always pissed me off, but these past few days it's pissed me off even more than usual. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe I didn't start the year off right. Or maybe it's because I am insulted that people I consider close friends, people I respect, think they could pull one over on me like I'm some stupid hick or something. The more someone does that to me, the less I respect them. Someone told me that people lie to me or tell me half-truths because they're afraid of losing my respect. Ain't that just such an odd, backward way of thinking? You may not think so, but I do. It's, as Mike Tyson once so apty put it, ludicrous!

And yet, it brings up an interesting point. Could I be emphasizing complete honesty too much? I do not believe that. Am I wrong to demand such unswerving loyalty from my friends and family? I think I deserve that. I've been accused, before, of being too righteous. Of course the person who accused me of that was an ex who cheated on me, but anyway... No. No matter how I look at it: logically, emotionally, spiritually, honesty is the best policy.

I know when people tell me half-truths and when people lie to me. I can smell it. Usually, I'm polite enough not to mention when they do. Maybe I should? (Well if I did that, I wouldn't have too many friends.) I just don't understand why anyone would need to lie to me. I'm probably the most laid-back, understanding person anyone knows. I don't hold grudges and I forgive pretty much instantly. I'm pretty thick-skinned too. I can take criticism, and I heal quickly from even the most hurtful comments.

I'm the Wolverine of inter-personal relationships.

Corniness

ho tape: yeah, they owe me a week's pay.
diver: shady bidnass!
ho tape: word. they are so shady that it's always night time in there.
diver: hahaaaaaaaahahahah
ho tape: okay that was corny.
diver: yup!

"You Don't Always Get What You Want, Kuya Glenn."

Damn right. God's plan. And while I'm trying to figure out exactly what His plan is, I'll need my basketball, my Kuya, Half-Alien, Crislie, Ace, and Teena... and a whole bunch of hazelnuts-light-n-sweet.

Good lookin' out, yo.

Christmas Is Over

Taken Sunday, January 9th, 9:03pm.

Funny Conversations

At The Video Store

Teena: Oh look, "Wimbledon" is out on video.
Glenn: Cool. You wanna see that?
Ace: No.
Teena: Hey I remember when it came out in the theater.
Glenn: ....
Teena: And you said you wanted to see it but not to tell anyone.
Glenn: ....
Ace: (chuckles)
Glenn: Thanks, you just told the whole video store!

Handshakes

Glenn: Shake on it?
Beth: My hands are dirty.
Glenn: So are mine.
Beth: And they're sweaty.
Glenn: Mine too.
(shaking hands)
Glenn: Wow your hands are sweaty.
Beth: And yours weren't you liar.
Glenn: But they are dirty.
Beth: Mine too, because I just blew my nose with this hand.
Glenn: Oh... then that wasn't sweat?

Shh!

Glenn: I developed tennis elbow from baking cookies.
Cristina: No way! I didn't think that was possible.
Glenn: It certainly is.
Cristina:Is there a chance that you just played tennis after you bought the cookies from Mrs. Fields?
Glenn: Listen! Don't go telling my secrets!

I Keep You Safe

I just heard on the radio today that 2004 was the first year in decades that crime in the NYC subway system has gone up. Believe you me, it's no coincidence that I barely rode the subway at all in 2004. I keep the subways safe. Crooks are scared of me. But, since I haven't worked in Manhattan for a long time, you'll all have to fend for yourselves for a while longer. Eventually, I'll take the subway again.

As long as someone can lend me a Metrocard.

Insomnia & A Weird Dream

Actually it's not insomnia. I have cat-like sleeping patterns. I'll nap for a few hours, then be wide awake, then get real tired and nap for a few hours again. And it cycles through the whole day. It's actually not so bad, except when I'm in a situation where I am not allowed to fall asleep.

During one of my cat-naps today, I had a strange dream that I was walking neck-deep in water through a swamp following some small midget thing. It wasn't human, and I'd like to say it was Yoda, but it wasn't.

I climbed up onto dry land and suddenly found myself walking into an alligator pit in a zoo. But to get to the door to the alligator pit, I had to crawl through a fish-tank full of crickets. I was tiptoeing toward a sleeping alligator, just about to pull its tail when I noticed that the baby alligators were escaping through the door that I had left open.

But when I turned to catch them, I got worried that the sleeping alligator would wake up, so I ran out of the pit. The baby alligators were just hanging out with the crickets -- they were all the same size. Big crickets or really small baby alligators? No idea. I was too grossed out to pick up the baby alligators for some reason, so I called Beau to help, since I know he likes animals, but he was watching T.V. and didn't come to help right away.

Weird, right? Can someone interpret this for me?

Heaven

Taken 9:00 PM Tuesday, January 4th 2005 in Maurice Park, Queens.

Mad Scientist Mentality

You ever get so focused on one thing that you totally ignore everything else around you? That just happened to me. I call that the Mad Scientist Mentality. I've been so busy for the past few months trying to create Frankenstein that I didn't notice that the villagers are trying to burn down my laboratory.

I said "villagers" but for some reason, in my mind's eye, I see the Village People carrying torches and pitchforks. Heh heh. I'll skip the "ass-less chaps" joke I was about to make.

I Wish It Was Summer

I wish it was summer time, because I could seriously use some basketball right now to clear my head.

Passion Vs. Apathy

Lately I've been doing a whole lotta nothing, and that usually spells trouble because when I'm doing a whole lotta nothing, I start doing a whole lotta thinking. And thinking is never good. Much better to be blissfully ignorant and unaware. Just kidding, I don't really believe that. However I am guilty, especially lately, of extreme and utter apathy. And fo' sho' that ain't me.

(Here I go, again, about to draw parallels with life and basketball...)

I love basketball. Basketball is my passion. I'm good at it because I'm passionate about it. Passion fuels me, it motivates me. Basketball lights a fire under me and gets me moving. Man, if only I was 6'8" and not 5'8". But anyway... back to a whole lotta nothing. I'm not playing basketball this winter season, and it's been quite a while since I haven't been on a team. I'm not used to this. I almost feel... empty. As a result, I don't have basketball to feed my passion, which in turn is transforming my passion into the aforementioned apathy.

"But Glenn," you say, "you can always play basketball by yourself." This is true, but much like sex, basketball just isn't as much fun by myself. Although it's still fun. Not that I know anything about sex. I'm SFC for Chrissakes! I mean... not that I don't know anything about sex, it's just that I've taken a... you know what, I'm spinning off on a tangent here. Back to my point.

What the heck was my point? Oh yes. Apathy.

I abhor apathy. I loathe impassiveness. I despise lack of interest. In essence, I am an anti-Vulcan. (Oh man, I said 'Vulcan.' It's been a while since I made a reference to Star Trek.) I don't have basketball to shield me from apathy, so what can I do? Who or what can keep me from becoming completely uncaring and unfeeling?

God? Yeah, well... God's cool and all, but I veiw Him more as an old friend that's been trying to get me to do good since I was a kid. Sometimes I listen, usually I don't. I will freely admit that He's given me a whole lotta shit that I've taken (and am taking) for granted. I certainly could be passionate about God by doing His work. I will do His work -- I kinda am already. But to do His work, I have to show God's love; and to show God's love I gotta love thy neighbor.

"Love Thy Neighbor." I have lots of neighbors. That's whole mess of people I gotta love. I ain't Superman. That task seems nigh on impossible. So I guess I gotta limit myself to a small group of people for now.

Or just one person. That, I can do.

Happy New Year